Let the change...change you!

While Mom was a martinet, dad was easy-going. But the day daddy left,her dictatorship receded
and she became the most soothing effect in my life (I realised this years later!).

However,her transition took a toil on me and I found myself missing both my parents.Not only was
I missing daddy's caresses but also the virtuous lady who would give me an outright 'No!' or who would
say 'You are wrong'.

I started doing things that were wrong just to instigate her,but the poor lady would not budge.I never saw her losing her cool,instead she would just hold my hand and say:
"We should do things that are right but making a mistake doesn't make us bad.There is a goodness in all of us and I know that you will let it come out.Be honest,kind and good.Your dad would have wanted the same."
In my futile efforts of getting my mom to scold me (the way before) , I ended up feeling all the more miserable and lonely for I was defying the basic morals that dad had instilled in me.
'Be honest,don't  be a part of what is wrong and always take a stand-no diplomacy' dad would always say.
Although mom did start believing that I was disorganised and irresponsible ,my apathy still failed in achieving the desired results ( she would just not shout at me!).

                                         *****************************
Some years later, while she was out for a couple of weeks,Preeti came to stay with me. Preeti was my closest friend and confider and she thought that she knew me completely (she was in for a shock).

While we were sitting in the evening, littering the table with food scraps and tea and messing around as usual,she saw me taking a cloth and cleaning the mess.She chuckled and brushed aside the silly notion of my being organised.The next day when she got up:the drawing room was clean, the pot was boiling with tea water, my bed had already been made up.

She rushed towards me,caught my hand and asked "who are you! What are you playing at.Or Is this the real you??"
I smiled miserably as she let go off my hand completely dazed.
"I still can't believe this.I am going to call your mom right now and tell her this.Why on earth would you pretend to be bad in front of her.She deserves some happiness-don't you think!I want her to know that you are exactly the way she wants you to be."

"No! You cannot call my mom. Yes I know I act bad at times and break her heart but how I wish you could understand my pain,that how much better I feel when I see a trace of her old nature.It makes me feel that things will be the same again.I miss her Preeti! more than I miss dad.It breaks my heart when I see her every night breaking down alone,wilting in pain.I want things to be the same.It spoils my image but who cares-I feel peaceful. "

Preeti sighed  at the ludicrous human behaviour that her friend had just now exhibited and the sheer frivolity involved and I smiled sadly at my own mirth and pain.

                                         *****************************
As I flip the pages of my life,people may judge me as a masochist.Though I cannot supersede their judgement , in my defence: I was a miserable,lonely girl - trying to make things the way they were.

We all want things to be perfect in our lives and the desire for something perfect becomes more pronounced  if we get  a taste of it . I had experienced a perfect family-a dotting father and a paragon of virtues kind of a mom.

When I lost dad, I was not able to handle well the maelstrom in my life.Things started going haywire and instead of picking up the small pieces of solace(after this mayhem),I started defying the change in my life.I closed my eyes and started believing that if I don't see the change - things will not change !

Defying change doesn't negate it.It merely prolongs the pain and we eventually miss out collecting those tiny pieces of happiness that can always be found.

So the next time there is a change , don't turn a blind eye towards it.Be sure that you know that things have changed, that you need to change as well.For whoever said that the only thing constant in life is 'change' was completely right. Acknowledge a change,accept it and let it change you for good!


                                         *****************************
P.S: life teaches us what we need to learn :))
*judging a writer by what he/she writes is not good!!!

                             

The Kite Runner...khaled Hosseini

This book by Hosseini deserves all the attention that it has received.Not only  he keeps the interest of the reader alive but also he leaves the reader asking for more,which is what makes him a successful writer from this first novel itself.
The story spans some three decades and has a flavor of all human emotions at its very core.Set up in Afghanistan,  the story keeps pace with the changing backdrop.
The Story starts in a beautiful Afghanistan terrain where things are perfect for the ''pashtun'' boy Amir (born with a silver spoon).While Amir,the protagonist,has a tough time maintaining a good rapport with his father,his father's liking towards the Hazara servant Ali's Harelipped son-Hassan, is a cause of greater distress for him and we can see him trying real hard to emerge as the better one.
Hassan,the docile and intelligent Hazara boy shows blind obedience towards Amir. He finds joy in the simple things of life and shows a blend of courage and good character.A true friend as he is,he fights for Amir and takes all the blame on himself.He is also the best kite runner. Hosseini very successfully manages to get the reader's sympathy for this sorry character.There are times when the reader might wish that Hassan  would take a stand for himself just the way he did for his friend.He comes across as someone very close to what our parents might  expect us to be.
While the initial part of the story deals with Hassan's true friendship,Amir's betrayal  and  quest for his father's undivided love,the same changes once Hassan and Ali move out.With the Taliban taking over Afghanistan Amir and his father move to the states but even there the thoughts of his betrayal and his guilt continue to haunt him.It is at this time that Amir finds the love of his life "Soraya jaan".Hassan also marries a beautiful Hazara women and has a child named Sohrab. As the two move on in their lives, their  anticipated meet builds up reader's interest and the novel loses a bit of charm when it is revealed that Hassan has been killed by the Taliban. However Hosseini is very quick in suppressing reader's apathy by bringing Sohrab in context.While there are some gruesome incidents in the latter part of the novel,Amir's change in character and his fight for Sohrab brings some solace.
The climax of the story comes when Amir comes to know that Hassan was his half brother.He brings back his nephew Sohrab to states with him but the little boy hardly smiles .
It is disturbing to think about children like Sohrab who've had similar ordeals but then this is the truth...there are so many Sohrab's for whom there is no uncle Amir.
The novel ends on a optimistic note when Amir finds Sohrab smiling slightly reassuring the reader ... that not all is lost.